Chain letter Catholics

There are people who have a very fundamental--almost childlike--relationship with their religion. Many of them choose to express this relationship with bumper stickers. One of my all-time favorites is: "In the event of the Rapture, this car will be unmanned" which I presume means that the vehicle will have its testicles removed but I may be missing the point. Another group of impaired believers sends you chain email messages. Most of these messages involve some miraculous...something that you're supposed to send along to ten friends. When you do within some specified amount of time you get something really great in return.

If you are Catholic you know one of these people. Rather than hurt their feelings (they're generally nice well-meaning people with the intellectual capacity of a 4th grader) you just delete their emails and say nothing. These same people might also forward you things about illegal aliens, President Obama's alien love child and other things they've learned about on Fox News which you may discourage them from sending in the future but the religious crap...er stuff you just let slide.

Today, the woman who sends me...er, stuff sent me this picture.

See if you can find Jesus in this picture. (If you can't, you're going straight to Hell.) Find him? Great! Who else do you see in this picture? I also see Darth Vader and a pussycat and possibly Henri Rousseau's "Sleeping Gypsy". I don't know if seeing other things gets you any holy bonus points but since the email didn't tell me not to look for other things I'm betting yes. You may see other things too, but if you see Jesus, you're golden.

OK, you caught me cheating. If you're reading this and finding Jesus, I have performed the required task of the email (in spirit, if not to the letter). Since this was not my intention when I started writing, I'm presuming that God, Almighty, Himself, inspired this. Good, because I have many spiritual needs which should be obvious to anyone reading this blog. I just hope there is no Rapture bumper sticker on my car when I get ready to go home because frankly, I don't think GEICO covers me for that.

Also, I don't think that's a strictly Catholic teaching. I'll have to remember to ask the monsignor. He'll know. Word!

Hi HO Silver, Away

"Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear"

Every time the monsignor steps up to the ambo, this phrase goes through my head. Actually I think he intended to talk about the current controversy surrounding what Pope Benedict knew or didn't know about the pedophile priests but somehow got distracted from this topic (or thought better of it) and launched into his ongoing lesson, The History of the Catholic Church in North Carolina, instead.

I suppose when you've been a priest for 50 years you don't sweat your homily; figuring that you'll think of something when the moment arrives. Occasionally, Monsignor will bring something with him that he wants to refer to but usually, he can do 15 minutes or longer without notes. He will begin a homily with a topic sentence and usually manages to wrap up by referring to that topic even if nothing in the middle went with it at all.

This past Sunday what his homily ended up being about was how to properly take communion and how the process evolved from the good old days--which he didn't remember quite as fondly as he usually does--to where we are now and how it is JUST AS REVERENT to received in the hand as on the tongue, provided you do it right. And for God's sake, don't mumble Amen!

There was a short digression about how the bishops can trace their power back to St. Peter which happily he truncated and only went back as far as Bishop Begley, first bishop of the Diocese of Charlotte. Monsignor was involved in the creation of the Charlotte Diocese of which he likes to remind us. I *think* this was somehow connected to his abandoned defense of the Pope but to be honest, my mind wandered.

I like to rib the monsignor but I can't really tell if he has a sense of humor (about himself) at all. Even though his views on Catholicism are deeply rooted in the past he has a very clear and fairly detailed memory. If anyone plans to write a dissertation on the history of the Catholic Church in North Carolina, they would be wise to get the monsignor on tape as soon as possible. In the meantime, catch him most Sundays, 10AM mass, at OLG.

Holy Week Woes

As the Church enters the most important week of the liturgical year it is beset, yet again, with charges of sexual abuse and this time, it looks like Pope Benedict had knowledge of it and chose to either do nothing about it or keep it under wraps. At the moment the Church is fighting back against the allegations made by the New York Times

As a cradle Catholic, frequently asked by non-Catholic friends to explain what the heck is going on, here's the way I look at it. In any hierarchical organization, people in power are going to abuse that power and when that happens, people above them are going to try to keep it quiet. When that fails, as it always ultimately does, a shit storm results. However, the difference between, oh say, Richard Nixon's failings and those charged against Pope Benedict is that there is no way for Benedict to quietly retire back to Munich and get the Church's equivalent of Jerry Ford to take over.

As we've seen in the squabble over health care in the U. S., the majority of U.S. Catholic Bishops have sold their souls to the Republican Party so I wouldn't be the least surprised if Bishops and Archbishops world wide weren't just as reactionary. This, just as much as the good he did is also part of John Paul II's legacy.

So what do we do about it? Leave the Church? Not likely, too much time and effort invested in this organization. Complain loudly? Uh, always have, always will. Become like the majority of Catholics and just quietly fade away? Somebody has to stand up to the idiots, both lay and ordained who think they know the will of God when plainly, they don't.

And while we're on the subject, you might re-consider that whole chastity condition and let normal people with normal sexual desires into the club. Then maybe the Church wouldn't be any worse than Congress.


I do like the nickname Pope Benedict acquired as a Cardinal: "Rottweiler Ratzinger".